Cutting Loose Read online

  Cutting Loose

  A Novel by

  Jayson Dash

  Copyright © 2013 by Jayson Dash

  ISBN: 9781301441495

  All rights are reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author.

  This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer's imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  ***Content Advisory***

  CUTTING LOOSE is a new adult erotic romance with scenes and language not suitable for readers under age seventeen.

  Summary:

  Recent college graduate, twenty-three year old Sabrina finds love in the most unexpected place when she examines her own values and stand up against what everyone expects her to do.

  Chapter One:

  Baby Showers and Other Pointless Things

  How many more baby showers would Sabrina have to sit through? Honestly, she was more vexed than usual as she sat at a table full of women pretending to be excited for the woman she didn’t know personally. In fact, she was only here for the cupcakes. In the back of her mind, she knew it was in bad taste not to be happy for someone else but why did everyone think that having a baby was a must? Surely not every woman is meant to be a mother.

  Sabrina couldn’t help the bitter emotions raging inside of her as she watched the mother to be waddle over to a chair to begin opening presents. Every so often Sabrina checked her watch. She was too young to be feeling so old. It seemed as if just yesterday she was walking across the stage accepting her bachelor’s degree at the top of her class. Though it was only less than a year ago, she was proud of herself for not racking up a bunch of student loans. Having loaded parents may have helped but she had the will power not to open credit cards and ruin her credit. Her mother certainly wasn’t having that.

  Sabrina had to be the youngest of the group there, besides the excited girl sitting next to her. She looked about her age…twenty-three? Twenty-four? “I’m so jealous. I mean, look at her—she’s glowing! It’s so beautiful.”

  “Yeah,” said Sabrina, “I’m sure her swollen ankles, fingers and stretch marks would agree.”

  The girl blanched. “How can you be so crass? Don’t you want to experience motherhood one day?”

  Sabrina looked at the pregnant woman, than back at the girl next to her. “I want a lot of things in this life but it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.”

  The girl was speechless. She turned around in her seat and never spoke to Sabrina again for the remainder of the night. Good thing too because Sabrina had other things on her mind, such as getting ready for her anniversary with her man.

  Finally freed twenty minutes later, she was finally pulling up to the gate to get to her home. After punching in her pass code, the gates opened and she entered the beautiful neighborhood of Crystal Lane, a small and quiet gated community nestled in the suburbs of North Miami. She passed the manicured lawns, the happy couples smiling and chatting about this and that before pulling into the driveway of a charming one-story beauty with cream trimmings, two-car garage and large manicured front lawn. Not too small or too big. She thanked God every day that her days of living in a dorm were far behind her.

  From the car she noticed the house was dark so that only meant that Carl hadn’t gotten home from work yet. She looked at her wristwatch and realized she had plenty of time to prepare for what was about to go down.

  Carl didn’t usually get home until eight-ish so she was right on schedule.

  Once inside, she flipped on the light in the grand entrance and went into the living room and flicked on another light that illuminated the enormous room; the high ceilings and large windows made the room look twice its size, there was a mocha-colored sofa and matching love seat, a marble fireplace, and white tile that attached the living room to the box-sized kitchen full of top of the line kitchenware that she never used. She was twenty-three—not a Betty Crocker wannabe.

  The kitchen was Carl’s department; he was always the one in the kitchen cooking up a storm whenever he was in a good mood to cook or if Sabrina didn’t feel like going out to a restaurant. But she couldn’t help that she was a picky eater; a woman like her liked to watch her figure, but that didn’t mean she went ballistic and count carbs after every meal like some people that she knew; she simply believed that if she was hungry, why the hell not eat what you want.

  She went to the bar where the phone and answering machine sat. She saw that she had two new messages: “Hey, Rina! It’s me Larissa calling to say what’s up. Anyway, you still haven’t gotten back to me on whether or not you’re going with me to that new club that just opened on South Beach. Hurry up and call me back. Bye.” Beep! “Hello, Sabrina my dear, this is your mother calling to see if everything’s okay since you didn’t answer your cell phone. Please give me a ring when you get in so I can stop worrying about you, okay? I love you. Bye.” Beep!

  She erased every message without hesitation and nearly lost her mind after she realized that she hadn’t heard a single message from Carl, the one person she was looking forward to the most. She eyed the Victoria’s Secret ensemble she picked up on the way home and calmed as she pictured herself in the sexy negligee she couldn’t wait to slip into. She was not going to lose her mind and sit up by the phone all night and instead went upstairs to her bedroom and plopped on the edge of her queen-sized bed covered in red and black satin sheets; she couldn’t wait to get between those sheets with Carl and make love all night. Hopefully he would bring his A-game.

  Sabrina checked the clock and it was after eight so she grabbed the cordless house phone off of the charger on the nightstand and called Carl on his cell phone. One ring, two rings, three rings, four rings and then came the damned answering machine. She couldn’t believe this shit. “Hey, baby, it’s me calling to see where you at. I was just hoping you haven’t forgotten about tonight. Call me if you can. Bye.”

  She shook off the feeling of uneasiness and disrobed; she took off her blouse, skirt, undergarments, heels, and headed to her master bathroom. She stepped into the enormous room smelling of a mix of sweetness and spiciness. She turned on the hot water in the bathtub and poured something that smelled like roses into the bathwater to make bubbles. Once the water reached the top she slid into the lukewarm water and relaxed her body. This was a part of her evening ritual that she looked forward to the most. As she tried to enjoy her bubble bath, thoughts of Carl filed her mind and she just couldn’t wait for him to get home so she could rip his clothes off and jump his bones and then lay in the bed and reminisce on the past two years they shared despite all the crazy shit they had to endure along the way.

  Once she was squeaky-clean, she slipped into her Victoria’s Secret ensemble and finished the look with her six-inch heels, and then she applied some lotion and perfume. She lit a few candles, dimmed the lights and went down stairs and grabbed a bottle of champagne from the fridge and poured two flutes halfway full. As she sipped away, she couldn’t help but feel agitated by the quietness in the house. That was something she definitely could do without. That was one of the reasons she agreed to allow Carl to move in with her in the first place, just to keep some company.

  She sat at the dining table and drank a little Rosé in an attempt to calm her nerves and push back the tears that were beginning t
o build as she stared at the clock that read eight-forty-five. “Calm down, Rina,” she said aloud, as she walked in a circle holding the flute of champagne that wasn’t calming her down at all. How could Carl do this to her? How could he be so selfish and be late for their two-year anniversary? What was so important that he couldn’t think to call? Was he out screwing another woman while she was at home on the brink of an emotional breakdown all because of him? No. She would not allow herself to cry or even to entertain the thought of Carl with another woman. She loved him too much to think he would put her threw that heartache all over again ever since he claimed he was done cheating on her and was going to devote himself 100% to their relationship. And where was he now?

  She gathered every nerve in her body as she dialed the number to his cell phone.

  “Hello?” a familiar deep voice finally answered.

  “Carl?”

  “Rina? Oh, hey baby. What’s up?”

  “What do you mean what’s up? Where the hell are you? Do you know what time it is?”

  “Whoa, baby, slow your roll. Of course I know what time it is. Look, something came up tonight and I have to stay at the office a little longer.”

  “Carl, it’s our anniversary! Can’t you get out of it?”

  “I already tried, baby. I’m sorry. Well, um, happy anniversary. I have to go. Don’t wait up, ‘kay?”

  Click.

  After she hung up the phone with Carl she poured herself another glass of champagne and sat in the living room on the loveseat. She turned on the fireplace and tried to convince herself that their relationship was not falling apart.

  The phone rang, shattering whatever peace and quiet she had. “Hello?” she answered impatiently, praying it was maybe Carl calling to tell her he was playing a cruel joke on her.

  But it wasn’t. “Hi, Rina!” Larissa’s energetic voice babbled into the phone. “Are you busy with your man, seeing as how it is the night of you all’s two-year anniversary?”

  Sabrina sighed. “Unfortunately, no, I’m not busy at all. I’m just sitting here all by damn self.”

  “Wait. Hold on. Where is Carl?”

  “He claims he’s at the office doing work and he couldn’t get out of it.”

  “Oh,” said Larissa. “I’ve heard that one before.”

  “It’s not even like that. I trust my man.” That was a total lie. She didn’t trust Carl as far as she could throw him. But yet here she was wasting her time on him once again.

  Larissa said, “Really? Well, let’s have some fun. I’m bored out of my mind and you have a cheating boyfriend on the prowl and I can just bet you I know where he is.”

  “I don’t know about that. Besides, Carl has been good to me lately. I trust him more. And it’s late. I should be getting to bed anyways. Matter of fact, I think I’m going to do that. Good night, Larissa.”

  She tossed the cordless phone to the side and broke down in tears when she finally came to the realization that her best friend was right—her so-called boyfriend—or rather ex-boyfriend was cheating on her while she was here all alone feeling sorry for herself.

  There was no point in her crying her eyes out about it and as much as she hated to admit it, she knew something was up with Carl, even if she wanted to believe that he was actually at work like he said he was. And there was only one thing left for her to do.

  Chapter Two:

  Moving On

  Sabrina Evan’s blood boiled under her skin as she pressed the phone to her ear as it rung, waiting patiently for a response.

  “Hello?” a female voice answered.

  “Hi, this is Sabrina, Carl’s girlfriend. I was just wondering if he was with you tonight.”

  The woman waited a beat. Then she said, “Hold on a second.” A moment or so later she said, “Sabrina, I don’t mean to sound rude or anything, but whatever is going on between you and Carl, it’s a done deal.”

  Sabrina gathered as much patience as she could before saying, “This is Jasmine Phispatrick, right?” The gold-digging mistress on the side she’d heard about through friends and snooping--among other incriminating evidence. The Feds had nothing on her tactics to get to the bottom of things.

  “Yes. I’m the one who supposedly ruined your relationship when Carl realized what a mistake he made when he broke off our engagement.”

  She could feel the tears began to rim her eyes. She held them back. “How long have you been fucking him?”

  She exhaled softly and said, “Shit, I don’t know. About six months?”

  “Six months?” repeated Sabrina hotly. “You’ve got to be shitin’ me.”

  “I shit you not.”

  Sabrina collected her thoughts. She calmed down and said, “You know what, Jasmine? You can have Carl sorry as. He means absolutely nothing to me, do you understand? Nothing!”

  Without any emotion, Jasmine asked, “Anything else you want to get off your chest before I hang up?”

  “Yeah. Put him on the phone.”

  She heard a few words being exchanged in the background. Then she heard Carl’s voice. “Baby, I am so sorry.”

  “Don’t ‘baby’ me. How could you do this to me? And on the night of our supposedly two-year anniversary, no less! You sick son of a bitch! I hate you, Carl. I really do.”

  “See, that’s why things didn’t work out between us; everything is always about you.”

  “Don’t you dare try to make this my fault! I’ll be damned if I take the blame for your bullshit. I was always there for you, Carl. Always. Even when my friends told me you were no good and bath-mouthed you, I stood by your side and defended you. And what do I get in return? I get a big fuck-you Sabrina. But it’s all good. But it’s cool. What he had is over. Let the bitch know she can have your sorry ass. I’m through!”

  “Sabrina, wait—”

  “Fuck you, Carl!”

  Click!

  She couldn’t fight the tears anymore and let them roll down her cheeks as she buried her face in her hands. She could not believe what just happened. All along throughout the duration of her relationship with Carl she knew something was going on that she didn’t know about. But she didn’t know that Carl would do this to her. And that bitch Jasmine had the nerve to be all calm like she knew Carl was going to end up with her before it all went down.

  Images of her and Carl invaded her thoughts and that only made her hate him that much more. This had to be some kind of nightmare. It had to be. There was no way she could spend two years with a guy she thought was a man. But as she looked back through all the bullshit, she realized he only possessed half of the qualities of the man she needed him to be.

  There were some happier times when she actually cared about him but Sabrina refused to put herself through any more frustration. He wasn’t even worth it. She went upstairs to her bedroom. Once there, she collapsed on her bed and cried some more.

  Sabrina just couldn’t comprehend how someone could be so damn cruel, especially when she hadn’t done anything to deserve such mistreatment. She never cried so hard before; her eyes were burning, head hurting. She was so distraught and in disbelief she wanted the night to be over with already. She closed her eyes, hoping to fall into a deep sleep and wake up the next morning as if this night never happened. But then the phone rang. It was after ten. Who in the hell could be calling her this late?

  It went straight to the answering machine and was surprised when she heard Larissa’s voice. She didn’t feel like dealing with anyone at the moment, but Larissa was an exception.

  “Hey, Larissa.”

  “What’s wrong, Rina?” She could sense it in her voice that something was up. “Let me guess; I was right wasn’t I?”

  “Yes! That son of a bitch was with Jasmine all along.”

  “Oh, my God. That’s a damn shame. But you know that Carl was a dog anyways. He wasn’t good for you. Why are you crying?”

  “Because that’s all I can do is cry! I can’t believe he did this to me. What did I do to deserve this?” />
  “Sabrina, listen. It wasn’t your fault. Stop crying over that bastard.” She paused and said, “I got a great idea.”

  “I’m not in the mood to drive over there and kick his ass like I want to. So you can forget about that idea.”

  “That wasn’t on my mind until you just brought it up, but how about you get your Fuck ‘Em Dress on and we hit the club? I haven’t been out a while and you could use a drink or two. “

  “I’d love to, but I’m a mess right now and I really don’t want to be around any men right now.”

  “Okay,” Larissa said, finally relenting. “Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

  She hung up the phone and crawled into bed. She was so frustrated all she could do was cry herself to sleep.

  ***

  The sound of the doorbell interrupted work on her so-called day off. She glanced at the clock that read 7:30 A.M. Then she heard it again. She bounced out of her office chair, slipped into her slippers and went down stairs. She peeped through the front window to find the last person she wanted to see standing at her doorstep.

  “What do you want?” she demanded after opening the door and stepping outside into the cool morning breeze.

  Carl was standing in front of her looking rugged as ever; his hair unkempt, his face looking as if he hadn’t shaved in days and his clothes were baggy and messy. He took off the sunglasses he were wearing and said, “Hi. Um, I know it’s been a couple months since our breakup and all but I just wanted to come by to check on you.”

  “Oh, really now?”

  “Yeah. And from our last conversation you didn’t give me a response on whether or not you were coming to me and Jasmine’s wedding.”

  “Are we really having this conversation, Carl? Let’s be real for once. “She rolled her eyes, hopping he would get the message and leave her the hell alone. Carl had never been the brightest tool in the box and let it show as he stood there.